Sunday, January 22, 2012

Killing the Fat Girl…While Saving the person inside…


 - I wrote this blog back in November.  I've hesitated publishing it because it reveals a lot about me.  Information that only my doctor and I know.  I figured if I want to do this right I need to be completely honest not only with myself but with anyone that is going to read this.  I am ready now to live the life I know I should be.  Thank you for reading thus far.  My email is listed on my profile so feel free to email me any thoughts, comments, and questions.  Melissa -


I think I’ve eaten enough of my makeup.  Unfortunately this is the only acceptable way to binge and not purge.  Today is a very special day.  Not only is it 11/11/11 but it is the day that a million and one weddings are happening.  OK, so that really means nothing to me (not really I have friends getting married today) but it’s really the day that Melissa (me) decided that she no longer wanted to be fat.
After stumbling rather ungraciously onto another fat chick blog I realized I needed a huge change.  I was reading about one of the bloggers and I felt like I was staring in a mirror.  Well, minus the fact that she had kids.  I had the same reaction when I was reading (and finished) my current book.  I felt like I was reading my life story and what could potentially happen if I don’t figure this out now.
What have I figured out so far?  I don’t want to die, I want to see my pretty face as a thinner person, I don’t want to put my future unborn children at risk, I really don’t want to be so fat that I waddle and wheeze, If I fly southwest I don’t want to have to buy two seats, and I DON’T WANT TO DIE.
I don’t really know my back story and when I really started to gain weight.  I’ve been fat my whole life.  Rolls stop being cute after about age 2.  I look at pictures of myself when I was younger and I think that if I had just stayed active as a child I wouldn’t be into the bad habits I am now.  I have had a few traumatic events in my life and I suppose most therapists would say that I use food to cope or to provide some comfort.  It’s not rocket science I am an emotional eater.  I’m happy I want eat; I’m depressed I want to eat.  Again, not rocket science.
In 2006, I started a new job that I thought was going to change everything around for me.  Oh and it did.  I got bigger and bigger.  You know how they say that when you have a sit down job you get your secretarial spread…well I got everyone’s.  I went from a job that I had to walk to work every day (three miles) and then walk/stand for 8 hours.  I wasn’t thin but I was healthier and the other clothes in my closet fit.  OK so maybe it was getting my driver’s license that made me fat.
I stumbled onto a blog today and it really kind of opened my eyes.  I saw myself in the face of another person with the same struggle.  We almost look identical and I found myself wanting to be that motivated to change my life like she is in the process of.  In the book I just finished it took a heart attack at 30 to wake this girl up.  I don’t want that for me.  I don’t want another near death experience; I am in my near death stage.
The last time I weighed myself was the worse time of my life.  I hit a number that I never ever wanted to hit.  I can remember the last time feeling like this; was when I hit the other number I never wanted to hit.  This will be the most humiliating moment of my adult life because no one but me and my Medical Chart knows this number but I figure if I am going to do this and truly be held accountable I need to put it all out there.
The point of this new blog is to let people into a part of my life that have been behind a wall that I’ve been building for as long as I can remember.  I’ve hidden parts of myself; thoughts, feelings, emotions, and interests; because I didn’t want to be that vulnerable.  I am tired of being made fun of and stared at.  I’m going to talk about things that have happened in the past that I truly believe contributed to the way I look and feel about myself.  My intention is not to hurt anyone or drag up old bitter feelings but to give you as my readers, supporters, and haters (if there be any) a clear understanding of who I am and who I hope to become.  My whole life I’ve been told to just let things go and get over it.  Well, I’m sorry I’m a cancer and we forgive but never forget.  We are emotional people and we take things to heart even when you’re “just kidding”.
You will also notice that I use humor a lot.  I have poked fun at myself a long time because I learned very early on; ‘bout middle school age; that I had to beat them to the punch.  They couldn’t make fun of me if I did it first.  My favorite one still is why do I need to be skinny; when I am in a doctor’s office I don’t want to be wondering why I’m dying..I’LL KNOW WHY. 
I’m not doing this for anyone else other than me.  I’m not doing this because someone in my family once told me I was fat as a house or call me a fat cow for most of my youth.  OH and PS…fat jokes are only motivation for continual over eating…try a different tact.
My name is Melissa, I weight 320 lbs and I don’t want to die.  I can honestly say that I would like to be half the person I currently am.  I hope that anyone reading this finds some kind of encouragement and hope to start their own journey.  I have set up an email where you can email me your thoughts, comments (if you don’t want to post them), encouraging words, tips that worked for you, criticisms if you feel I need them (make sure they are constructive is all I ask), or anything at all that you don’t want to post in the comment section.

Melissa

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